Trolls and Humans and Cherubs and Parents and Chess
by TheTwoMind
Summary: I had a thing. This is a thing. love the thing. it's a thing in progress respect the thing. please.
1. Hi there HONK oh no

**AN: Hi. I had an idea, I couldn't make it work today, I try new.**

Harry Potter sat on the train to Hogwarts relaxing-making music-reading-humming a tune, before shaking his head angrily.

"guys! we need to sort out a pattern here, i can't take this anymore, at home this is fine but we're going to be surrounded by people here, i'll take first, ok?" He told what seemed to be air, with a slightly dorky look on his face, before it vanished, replaced by a look of rad acceptance.

"ah can accept that as long as we can still work on the mind talkin thing" He agreed, with a new accent all of a sudden.

He changed again, taking a slight feminine pose and speaking with an articulate female voice. "That works, I'll handle the school work, along with writing for tests." He-She? Said with a nod, before changing again, taking a different female pose that was bubbly and excited, with an equally female bubbly excited voice.

"sure! that works really well! oh! can i handle the animals? Please?" He-she? Asked hopefully, before going to the first.

"sure jade, that works, dave, you want anything specific?" He asked, naming the fourth voice, who was called Jade.

"nah, ah'll just do the sassy bits and whatever ah'm good at" He said in the cool voice, which was apparently called Dave.

"John, if you take the flight for us then Dave can do the practical spells." The third voice suggested, naming the first voice, who was called John.

"sure rose! i hadn't even thought of that!" The first voice, john, agreed, naming the third voice, who was called Rose.

"so, who's taking everyday stuff?" John asked, before dropping, fast asleep.

 **Mindscape…?**

A boy appeared inside a house confused. "why'd you pull me in?" He asked a girl, who was wearing a headband and a shirt with a purple skull on it.

"I didn't. You just appeared without warning us." She argued.

"alright, we bettah figure this out, john, you probably fell asleep for some reason, go check the logs, rose go check the big buttons and jade go find out where the goddamn bathroom goes to when john comes in here." A boy wearing shades ordered, likely Dave as the others had just been named, the new boy was John, skull girl was Rose, and another girl, who was wearing round glasses and a dress, was Jade.

"alrighty!" Jade said, pulling out a map, while John and Rose ran down different hallways, it was a big house ok? "um… i think it's in the bathroom." She told him.

"no, the bathroom, where's the bathroom?"

"it's in the bathroom." Jade said repeated, showing him the map, it just said IN THE BATHROOM, whenever she pressed the bathroom icon, it was like a digital map.

"so it's a paradox? ah gotta go…" Dave complained.

"sorry, i tried to get the house to rearrange but it won't…" Jade apologised.

"it's fine dahlin." Dave told her, messing with her hair.

"ok, i got knocked out by some hoody wearing person!" John shouted running in.

"And I found how to get the bathroom to appear more often, the button was broken." Rose added.

"wake up john." Dave said annoyed.

"yes sir!" John said with a grin, vanishing with a pop!

 **Reality**

John took control of the body, opening his eyes to look, with now blue eyes, into a pair of mismatched eyes, one grey one candy red.

"HEY. YOU OK?" The person, female judging by the facial structure, asked loudly.

"mind being less loud? you just blew my brains out…" John complained.

"… John?" The person asked, the eyes changing to cerulean, one pupil splitting into seven.

"wha… vriska?" John asked confused.

"Aradia, Tavros, Sollux, Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, me, Equius, Gamzee, Eridan and Feferi actually." Vriska corrected. "We think that the A1 Trolls are somewhere as well, but their either not awake in here or in someone else." She added.

"same, we can feel the b2's but they're not here." John agreed. "it's good t- oh, sorry… dave wants to try and talk to karkat, he's using that voice again." He said apologising, before Vriska was replaced by Karkat, and John by Dave.

 **Hours later**

Jade took control, since Dave always pulled Karkat into control to make out, Rose doing the same with Kanaya, and John was perfectly willing to give her control if it meant he didn't have to mash the button to breathe all the time.

"hi!" She said happily, as the Troll body fell onto their butt.

"uH, hI JADE, i WASN'T EXPECTING TO BE SHOVED INTO CONTROL…" They said, Jade quickly figuring out it was Tavros.

"hi tavros! how've you been?" She asked with a smile.

"wELL, eRIDAN'S BEEN GETTING THERAPY ALONG WITH VRISKA, aND I HAVE WORKING LEGS SO THAT'S GOOD I GUESS,,," He told her.

"aww that's great! all of it!" She exclaimed happily.

"tHANKS, eRIDAN JUST SAID TO SAY THANKS,,," Tavros told her with a weak smile, getting a big one back.

"Is this the carriage f9r gr9up 69dy h9sts?" A voice asked as a boy in a hoodie entered the compartment.

"i'm not sure what you mean, but do you mean people with groups?" Jade asked curiously.

"Yes. That's what I'm saying, and I'm glad that s9me9ne actually underst99d me f9r 9nce and didn't just ign9re me." The boy said with a smile. "I'm Kankri Vantas, though the body is called Ron Weasley.

"jade harley, but the body's called harry potter." Jade responded cheerfully.

"tAVROS NITRAM, bUT THE BODIES CALLED HERMIONE GRANGER SINCE IT'S A GIRL,,," Tavros said embarrassed.

"there's nothing wrong with that! i'm a girl!" Jade protested.

"i DIDN'T SAY THAT THERE WAY, jUST THERE ARE SOME THAT HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH IT, vRISKA IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THEM FOR SOME REASON,,," Tavros explained panicking.

"oh. didn't expect that…" Jade trailed off, letting Kankri join them, causing Tavros to clutch his head in pain. "you ok?" She asked worried.

"i'M FINE, iT'S JUST KARKAT'S FREAKING OUT," He explained.

"Ah, that w9uld likely 6e due to my presence, t9 which I ap9l9gise." Kankri said, understanding.

Tavros gave a sigh of relief, likely due to Karkat calming down. "tHANKS, kARKAT WAS FREAKING OUT AND IT HURTS ME THE MOST,,," He thanked, rubbing his temples.

"Well, I ap9l9gise for the sudden disappearance but I am required elsewhere." Kankri said suddenly, before slumping and sitting up in a much different position.

":o)" The boy made a face representing the face in the talky thingies. Speech marks. The boy made a face representing the face in the speech marks. I had a moment where I forgot the name of the things, you know what I mean right?

"… does anyone know what he's saying?" Jade asked, both the group with her and the group with Tavros.

"uH, gIVE ME A SEC,,, nO," Tavros said, shaking his head, before Jade tilted her head.

"huh, john knows sign language, not sure why." Jade said. "i'll let him handle this for a second, sorry tavros" Jade apologised.

"iT'S FINE, i DON'T MIND," Tavros told her.

Jade let John take control, who quickly signed something to the boy.

":o)" The boy signed something out, John giving a nod, signing something out.

"uH, wHAT DID HE SAY?" Tavros asked.

"his names… kurloz, kurloz makara, he's the prince of rage and he's mute." John said, signing some more.

' _john how d'yah know sign language?_ ' Dave asked mentally.

' _i learned it when i was little._ ' John responded, still signing away.

Kurloz signed out something else.

"really? weird, i never thought that that was a thing that could happen." John noted.

"wHAT DID HE SAY?"

"he said he can sense people like us, there's… four, the exiles, the b2 kids, the cherubs and… our guardians? cool!" John said with a grin. "d'you know where they are?"

Kurloz signed something else.

"no? ok, just hoped." John mumbled upset.


	2. HoNkItY hOnk SCREW YOu!

**AN: Hi…**

John relaxed with his friends in the mindscape, nobody paying attention to what was going on until the eyes of the body opened, represented by the windows showing light, and a large monitor turning on, a quick count showing everyone was in the mindscape.

"what's going on?!" He shouted, trying to get a grip on the mindscape, stopping it from falling apart.

"ah don't know but it's not good" Dave told him, mashing away at buttons.

"i'm gonna hurl!" Jade shouted, covering her mouth.

"I'm going to check the logs, see who's in control!" Rose shouted, making her way down a hallway, as the mindscape shook and flipped around like a hamster rolling in a ball.

 **Reality**

The body, with pure jade eyes, similar to ja- wait blue-lavender-red? It wouldn't stop changing! Anyway… The body looked around, looking at it's hands, and giving a grin, the trolls were asleep, both sets.

" _ **Oh**_ _this_ **is** _ **awesome!**_ " It said in a genderless voice, giving a huge smile and bouncing around before losing control and slumping on the seat. " _ **Oh**_ _darn_ **it…** " It muttered, giving a frown.

' _Alright, I managed to get control back under manual, whoever's in control is no longer in control._ ' Rose told the body, and the ones that were in it.

' _alright then now lets find out what's goin on_ ' Dave told her.

" _It… It's not saying… So whoever it is… Is meant to be here._ " Rose told him confused.

' _ **can**_ _you_ **stop** _ **that**_ _please?_ ' the body asked upset.

' _who was that?!_ ' John shouted scared.

' _ **Umm…**_ _Call_ **me...** _ **Bon!**_ ' The body decided.

' _Bon? There's nobody called Bon._ ' Rose said incredulously.

' _actually… there is!_ ' Jade exclaimed, figuring it out. ' _it's all of us combined! bon, b1!_ ' she exclaimed.

' _ **Yep**_ _that's_ **what** _ **I**_ _am!_ ' Bon said happily.

' _can you stop that ah can hear the echoes_ ' Dave muttered annoyed.

Bon gave an embarrassed grin. ' _ **I**_ _s_ **t** _ **h**_ _i_ **s** _ **b**_ _e_ **t** _ **t**_ _e_ **r** _ **?**_ ' it, maybe they, asked.

' _ah think ah prefer the first one_ ' Dave decided.

' _ **Alright!**_ _Whatever_ **floats** _ **your**_ _preferred_ **pairing** _ **!**_ ' Bon agreed.

' _Gender, it's confusing me a little._ ' Rose said annoyed.

' _ **Hmmmm…**_ _I_ **feel** _ **like**_ _a_ **boy,** _ **actually**_ _girl,_ **maybe** _ **both**_ ' Bon decided, with a shrug.

' _So both or none?_ '

' _both._ ' Bon finished. ' **But** _ **using**_ _they_ **is** _ **fine**_ _as_ **well!** _ **Yep…**_ " They nodded to themselves.

 **Mindscape**

Bon appeared in the mindscape, looking like a troll, with the sburb beta logo on their shirt. " _ **Wow!**_ _I've_ **always** _ **wanted**_ _to_ **see** _ **this**_ _place_ **for** _ **myself!**_ " They said with a grin.

"why are you a troll?" John asked confused.

" _It's_ **face** _ **paint.**_ " Bon explained with a grin. " _I'm_ **my** _ **trollsona**_ _, I_ **like** _ **it…**_ " They explained embarrassed.

"that's adorable and ah kinda want to see if ah can make one at some point.

" _Sure!_ " They agreed happily.

"i had a trollsona once!" Jade said with a grin. "it was when i was dog tier." She explained.

' _If nobody minds, the A2 trolls are acting strange, I can't tell if it's like Bon or not_ ' Rose said from her place in control of the body.

" **Let** _ **me**_ _see?_ " Bon asked, seeing through the bodies eyes…

 **Reality**

The body the trolls were controlling was freaking out, shaking like mad and flailing around like a fish out of the only water for miles and was desperately trying to return but couldn't figure out which way to go.

 **Mindscape**

" **That's** _ **Nate!**_ " Bon shouted in shock.

"nate?" Dave asked confused.

" _A2,_ **Nate.** " They explained with a shrug.

"that just sucks" John said with a groan.

" _ **Your**_ _face_ **sucks!** " Bon protested childishly, sticking a tongue out.

 **Reality**

Rose looked at the body, trying to get close enough to help.

' _ **Don't!**_ _You'll_ **startle** _ **them!**_ ' Bon shouted in worry.

"Startle them? I'm trying to hold them down!" Rose growled annoyed.

" _ **NOSTAYAWAYNOTOUCHYBADTOUCHNOLIKEY!**_ " The Troll body shouted, flailing away from Rose's hands. " _ **BADTOUCHNOTOUCHYSTOPTOUCHINGME!**_ " They shouted upset.

"I'm not even touching you." Rose pointed out.

"… _ **BADTOUCH!**_ " They shouted, kicking her away.

' _Can_ **I** _ **try?**_ ' Bon asked, before shoving Rose out of the way. " _Nate?_ " They asked worried.

" _ **NONONONOTNATENATESUCKSNATESGOODBUTIWANTEDTOMAKEANAMEBUTIMNOTMADENATESFINE**_ " They shouted quickly.

" _ **You**_ **ok?** " They asked them.

" _ **NOIMFREAKINGOUTGIMMEFIVEMINUTES!**_ " They screamed, clutching their head…

Bon let Jade take over, since she was the best at calming people down…

"hey, it's ok, you don't need to worry ok?" Jade told them, panicking internally.

"IT'S NOT EVEN A QuESTION OF IF WE'RE GOING TO, IT'S A QuESTION OF WHEN WE'RE GOING TO. DuH!" A voice shouted annoyed from the hallway, triggering Nate.

"of coUrse it's a qUestion, we might not be able to do it if we can't decide." Another said, from the same location…

"WE REALLY NEED TO SORT THIS OuT…" The first voice grumbled.

"we really do, bUt it's alright! we can jUst set Up a roUtine for Us to Use!" The second voice said cheerfully…

"heeeeeey clalalaly! cally!" A voice said drunkenly.

"oh! hello! it's been a while since we've spoken, it's good to see yoU." The second voice said happily to drunk voice.

"OH… IT'S YOu…" The first voice growled.

"heeeeyyy! how you doin?" The drunk voice asked drunkenly, as two kids entered… Wow I'm doing a lot of, it just happens… Hmmm… Meh.

 **Hours later**

Everyone was fine now, they had found the b2's and the cherubs, who had passed off their shared control as a split personality issue, effectively shutting down any problems.

"I cOuLd BaKe YoU aLl A pIe If'N yA'Ll Be WaNtInG." The A2 Trolls, Likely Gamzee, suggested with a grin.

":o)" Kurloz replied, having kept control of the body the entire time for simplicititi… Simplicity? Simplicity. There we go. For simplicity's sake.

"no thanks, he's not in the mood and neither am i." John translated for him.

"naaaah, i don't really like spoor slime. spoor. so-por. sopor. there we go!" Roxy said, constantly trying to fix her wording.

"It DoN't GoTtA bE sOpOr If YoU DoN't LiKe It." Gamzee told her with a smile. "It CoUlD bE a PaStRy Of ChOiCe." He added.

"ooh… i do like pie…" She muttered, contemplating it.

Meanwhile the cherubs were having a slapping fight with each other, both having commandeered an arm to fight with.

"LET ME SHOOT HIM AGAIN! IT'S SOOTHING!" Caliborn -or grumpy shoutbutt- shouted.

"no! we're not shooting anyone! yoU're not either!" Calliope -or cheery british girl- argued, pulling his hand away from Gamzee.

"JuST ONE SHOT?"

"no!"

"PLEEEASE?"

"no!"

"I'LL MAKE LuNCH!"

"… still no. bUt good try."

"I JuST WANT TO PuNCH HIM ONCE!" Caliborn begged, with Calliope stopping him.

"I dOn'T bE mInDiNg If He WaNtS tO hIt Me." Gamzee said with a smile on his face.

"IT WON'T BE WITH A GuN OR CROWBAR OK?! I'LL uSE MY FISTS AND NOTHING ELSE!" He promised.

"… one pUnch. then yoU're relinqUishing control of the arms to me." She agreed reluctantly, before the body flew forwards to clock Gamzee in the jaw, hard.

"HERE YOu GO!" Caliborn said cheerily, letting her take the arm back.

"... hUh… are yoU alright?" She asked Gamzee, shocked that he had agreed so fast.

"I'm FiNe. I'vE hAd WoRsE, lIkE wHeN hE kEpT sHoOtIn At Me." Gamzee told her with a smile.

"that's not a good thing…" She muttered.

"I bE kNoWiNg ThAt BuT iT's AlL mOtHeRfUcKiNg FiNe…" Gamzee assured with another smile.

":o)" What sound is this? Is it like, Oh! Or something? I'm going with that.


End file.
